She's an ass.

12:48 PM

New Year is just around the corner and as always, my best friend has started telling me about her new year resolutions that she’s definitely, definitely going to accomplish in twenty-fifteen, and since we are best friends I know she wouldn't because she’s that kind of an ass.



Here’s a list of what she wants to accomplish :

  1. I’m fat. And I want to get slimmer. I am hot, but I want to be slim hot. I am amazing, but I no longer want to carry that heavy belly to make my days legendary. I can no longer wait for it.

→ The reason why she’s saying all this is because she thinks she is the fattest person on earth and the fat in Kim Kardashian's ass resembles the cholesterol in her belly  but trust me, I’m not saying this out of genuine affection or pure love for my best friend and neither am I jogging down the lane of the phrase which goes something like this : “ Every girl is beautiful” . She is genuinely the most gorgeous person I have ever met and if it was possible, I’d typewrite this fact on all the pages in her brain as footnotes, although I doubt she’d still not believe me.

     2. I want to read more and more books.

→ Okay, this seem realistic given that she’s as good a reader as I am but I don't think she'd be able to do that. I told her to buy my some novels and it has been ages and still no paperbacks had been delivered to my place free of cost and that’s why i think she won't be able to read books. Because she doesn't have books. And even if she had books and was willing to read the,. she still won't because she has got people and those people cannot live without her and she has got a bottle of wine and that is the finest bottle of wine purely made for her and she cannot afford not to spend time with her wine because the ironical thing about her wine is that it doesn't get better by age.Dilemma, you see.



3. I want to top my college examinations.

→ First semester, LLB,and all she dreams of is her name on the highest peak of the himalayas and that has always kept me going when I had been feeling a little blue because if she can dream of something that stupid, Life is not really that brutal. Top? Seriously, Lady? You want to top the first semester of your college. That’s like saying I want to taste the first slice of cake and that’s it for the night. I hope she bolts down the second position because as much as she wants the first rank, it has its own problems. For obvious reasons.

But, She’s my best friend and I love her no matter how foolish she sometimes is and how stupid she always is, she is my greatest inspiration and my lifeline. She's Like a soulmate to me, except that =I can't put up with her snoring and ..Okay. Public Place.

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