Lambo fell in love ♥ - III

1:39 PM




Don't know who's Lambo? Read the first part here. Lambo Fell in Love ♥ - I
                                                              And then read along  Lambo Fell in Love ♥ - II.


It's been 24 hours since we had hit that kid on the bicycle, smashed that old grandma by the mudguard and almost killed a police officer. Here we were. In the YNPD cell.

The black-wall-ed criminal cell was dark enough to make the place haunted. There was a tattoo on the wall that said "Death is inevitable". Because of less space, the criminals used to dry their clothes there and then. A long rope was stretched diagonally just below the terrace so as to hang the white clothes on it. To add to the misery, the dresses were all white. A beautiful witch( WHO WANTS A UGLY WITCH? ) premiered in my mind. She was wearing the same white clothes and had the nails of a gorilla. Her head resembled You-Know-Who. There is nothing worse than bad make-up and with her black lipstick and green eye-liner, my hearts was all set to go on a ride. Lambo kicked me.

"I have a date with Fritzie, Abhi."

"Go and date that lady officer, you son of a beach."
I was annoyed. I had spent an entire day with him on my scooter which had no piece alive now, had committed three crimes and almost murdered a lady.. all because of that Bitch. Ergh.

To my utter surprise, the steel rods were set apart and entered a big, muscular guy who must have been in his 80s. His beard was longer than Tiffel Eower and his head was bald. He was murmuring " She'll come today. She'll come today.." My eyes were about to lit up but he interrupted them with his loud, penetrating voice. He said "That witch."

After a lot of staring and soaking contest, he opened up. His name was Delbus Ambeldore. The officers used to call him Mr. Lips.

He told us about how the room will get really noisy with the creepy sounds and foul smell at midnight. I asked him about that white with I just had a premonition about. He had stories.

" Once upon a time, I was dying to pee but the officer didn't let me go. he made me wait till midnight. As the hour arrived, I broke the rods open and ran through the corridor to the washroom and reduced my weight. When I came back, I found this long, dark and foggy tunnel appear right behind the wall on which I used to write poems for my lady. Never mind, the poems, there were some " zooooooooooonon..... eeeeeeeeeee..... hahhahahahehrhehrehreheheheh... " coming out of the tunnel as if someone's radio had been terribly damaged.

I called the officer but he did not listen. I think it was because of those creepy sounds which called the dizziness.

I tried to enter the cell but the rods won't open. I noticed that a tall, hot and beautiful lady, dressed in a white saree, was coming out of the tunnel. She was running toward me. Black Lipstick and bad make-up.. I was terrified.

My heart was sinking with the same speed with which she was running towards me. The expressions on her face clearly depicted Death. My Death.

She finally traversed the entire tunnel and was in my room(I had been there for 31 years). I was lucky enough to be standing out of the cell. But she was a witch. She could do anything. She started walking towards me. The sounds had come to a halt and there was nothing creepy out there. Except the queen of creepiness.

She clinched the steel rods with her fingers, nails on which depicted nail-cutter-less-ness. Despite the smell of human flesh she licked the rod and ordered me to come closer. I thought about my wife and my children, thanked GOD for everything he had done for me and bid goodbye to mother earth. I stood right in front of my death. [Ain't no Sunshine.]. The atmosphere,which a moment ago was depicting the likes of The Unborn and Haunted... now depicted Another Cinderella Story and Hitch.... Her upper lip met my lower lip and they kind of committed to each other. It was a long, huge, big, gigantic kiss.

Her lips and she herself departed. The tunnel disappeared. Everything came back to STP. Except one thing. My Lips. I had no lips. Just some flesh hanging down my nose and jaw. That witch was a bitch. " Delbus said.


I tasted my own lips and was glad I still had them. Lambo was licking his too. Life is wacky. and Creepy.

He told us about their next date. Same time. Same venue.  The next time the witch came from a Beauty Parlor with the right make-up and a cream-ish one-piece. The witch turned him on when She strip-teased him. She removed it. But another one appeared. Slightly. She again removed and it gain reappeared. Longer this time. It continued until that one-piece transformed itself into the same saree she wore the first time they had met. The make-up bid adieu too. She Slapped Delbus and that was the reason he had that small mark on his cheek. "W."

It was 11:59. Lambo was sitting on the top of my shoulders, biting his teeth. Ka-Boom. Everything happened just the same as Delbus had told us. The sounds, the tunnel and the Witch. The only difference was that the tunnel now appeared on the side where the still rods already resided.

A tall, hot and sexy lady, dressed in a white saree was coming towards us. I covered my lips with my handkerchief.

She was nearing. I was shivering.

The sounds were still on.

She started running. She entered our cell.

She was devoid of a hair-clip and black lipstick. The look on her face was terrifying. She had no sandals as well.

She entered our cell and hugged Lambo. YES.

I thought it was the last day of Lambo's lips on this planet until I noticed something.

It was Madhavi. 

She punched me.

She was gonna kill me as soon as we got home. How on earth can I even think of her being a bad-make-up witch.

She bailed us out. Me and Lambo.

I said Bye to Delbus and the whole concept of the creepy story was right in front of me.

A Bottle of Vodka.

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