Heartbreak

11:17 AM

It is the most tragic feeling of the world; To have an invisible wound beneath your chest that is invisible to the human eye. It hurts. That lump in your throat which begs you to forget everything about the past and move on. It hurts.

You can feel it. That bulging piece of flesh of yours, which is supposed to pump blood in your body, just wears off. It's suffocating. You want the misery to end but you just can't help it.

When she first gave me that beyoutiful smile of hers, when she blushed, when she wrapped her arms around my neck and told me that "she'll be mine, forever"; it hurts to feel two different forever-s.

I miss her. I miss the third place where we used to wander about and live all the un-earthy situations that are a part of us. Nobody knows about them. Just us. And in the end, I only have those memories of her.

I can see you sitting on that slab asking me questions while I'm busy making breakfast for you. Do you remember that moment when you poured in some 5  tea-spoons of sodium chloride instead of sugar in it? The smell of yours still remains in that kitchen. I still make breakfast for myself. But someone's missing. Someone who told me that It'll be her turn one day to make breakfast for me, is missing. She's missing.

It wasn't easy. If it were easy, we wouldn't have to fight for it. It's the most amazing, and dramatic thing that has ever happened to me. I had put my heart in the hands of an angel and put my faith in her not to flee away with it. It was courageous. Who in hell touches a live wire?

"Iloveyou" . My phone buzzed sending good vibes all across the dining room. People out there could sense it in my smile. I was in love. Well, I still am.
Life changed when you arrived. You had me at our first hand-shake. I could see the glare in your eyes when we first met. Your "Hello" still echos in my mind. It will keep doing that forever (the second forever) . My Life took a turn I was longing for all my life. I was looking for an angel like you ever since I was born. Mum was one. I needed another. I got another. I lost one. I'm a dumb-ass.

Life is unpredictable. One moment, you're thinking about taking her to the Selfridges and the other you see yourself lying in bed. Suffocating but living. Lost but fighting. Alive but dead. 

It hurts. It's like waiting for the clouds to burst in a drought-struck land. It was green over here. Green blushed here. But, now only the remains remain. The trees have dried. The land is hard. The heart is, too. But, I'm used to it. I'm used to getting hurt. Practice has made me perfect in that field. I'm okay. I'm fine. Maybe.

No. It's not your fault. It's the fault in our stars. ( No cancer. ) Maybe we're meant to be. Maybe we're not. I'm tired of getting an answer to that. I should walk away. So many people ain't ready until you walk away. I'm gonna do that.

You'll miss me, sweetheart.

I'll miss you more.

Love is so over-rated. Yeah. This is our fate. Maybe, you're right. Maybe,I deserve someone much better than you. But then, What's the third form of Perfect,eh? (You see?)

You said, "I don't know". " It's okay. I know. I know the past and the Present. It's over.". 

Over.

God? Are you listening? Eh, I wanted to ask you about Shreya. Who is She? And Where? And.. Well. Okay. I'll wait.

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